The Tears are Flowing

I don't blog but maybe once a month, but I have to blog about what is happening in my baby's life. Mackenzie starts kindergarten this year, and though I was very excited about it last May when she would complain about being bored or hide from her sisters and say things like I need my alone time, I have officially decided school is not so exciting for this momma. All summer we have been trying to talk about what to expect, the only problem is it has been many years since I went to Kindergarten and so therefore my knowledge is limited, so after finding many other mommas who have kids in school and asking what to expect I think we have a little idea of what is in store.

As we shopped for school I have gotten emotional, I have cried while driving down the road and I realize she won't be with me on many of our Wal-Mart trips now that she will be gone during the day. I have cried when she asked if she could buy her lunch instead of bring it (how does she even know about this). I have cried when she asked if she could ride the bus instead of me take her(really, I hated the bus growing up).

Among all of the new school stuff, she has her first loose tooth and I think this is causing so much more stress than school. She is afraid to ride her bike, go swimming, eat anything that isn't soft, and go to sleep. She is worried it will fall out and she'll lose it or swallow it. Last night she came in my room crying and when I asked her what was wrong, she told me I don't want to lose my baby teeth, I don't want to grow up. I want you to stay this way forever and I want to stay this way forever. She then got in bed with me and cuddled until the tears stopped. After she went to bed, it was my turn to cry and say the same things. I don't want her to grow up. I want her baby teeth to stay and I don't want her to go to school and buy lunch and ride a bus. I want her to stay my little girl forever. I know this isn't possible, but I'm really going to be a wreck when school starts.